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Wednesday, September 30, 2009

I am DOWN

I checked my UNISA email and my Leadership Dynamics individual assignment was out!
Got High distinction for that.
Congratulation to myself!
Group assignment result was out 1 week before Raya and we got Distinction.
mmm... now need to buck up forexam this 17th Oct 2009 and hopefully could get overall a Distinction for this subject.

International Business , if I can get a Credit I would be happy with myself.

These few days after Raya week, i feel down.
Maybe one main reason due to my PMS.

I feel tired with my life and feel like incomplete.
I don't have my camera to entertain me.
I feel lost!
I miss snapping my own photo :)
I want you back my dear beloved camera!!!!

My job are the hectics one!
I am tired listening to people!
I just feel tired!
How I wish I could shut him off or maybe just mute him whenever he call me in his room or meeting room.
How I wish I could just tell him my peace of mind on how I feel and what he is talking about is freaking nonsense.
'Syok sendiri' !
Go to hell with his freaking fucking system!
3 years!
Yet the freaking system keep changing and everytime goes wrong me to be blamed!!!!!!

How I wish I could tell straight to his face that 'hell i am outta here!'
You can continue implementing your freaking system and even the ISO consultants can't even find way to certified your system!
Ah! I am tired with this word 'System'!

This week very busy, by the time reach home I am tired and just want to be in bed and stay there as long as i want!

I feel like taking a one week off to do what i like!
This Oct 12, I am going to be 35 years old.
did I achieve any of my dreams?
3 out of 10. long way to go!
I feel the journery is very far and I feel exhausted!
I just feel like want to sleep and sleep and sleep.

Now I have to change my appointment for this sunday just to accomodate his crazy plan.
What is the crazy plan?
Up to Genting with clients to watch Air Supply!
huh! Air supply?
I use to listen to their song when I was young.
Who listen to this kind of song anymore???
Now people go for Green Day, Linkin Park, Beyonce, All american Reject, Kris Allen, Disaggree!!!!
Hello!!!!
Old timer!!!!
Hope he don't like Bon jovi...
if he is.. i am going to hate bon jovi too..
hope he don't like scorpions
because if he is I will hate them too...

But after I know that fella like Air supply, I am sorry I hate this group very much then!
I dont enjoy the mushy mashy song like this anymore!
Its sunday and the next day is working day !
Have to put up the Drama Face again!!!
Damn!!!
Tiring!

Seriously! I feel like killing myself right now!
Why?
I am tired with my life!

Thursday, September 24, 2009

not because i ate too much

I was reading Women's Weekly Oct 2009 issue when I discover this article saying , stress goes down to waist line... o la la la ... I was singing.. my mystery solve.
Now I know on why I had built up too much of unwanted muscle around my waist line :)
Everybody said I was eating a lot!
But in real fact not at all..

I tried to skip rice and even skip lunch.. but that big bulky ring on my belly keep growing.
Same goes with my exercise regime..
I do sit up.
I do stretch up.
Yoga and dance .. ah ! name it!
been there ! done that!
not an inche reduction... ah! so frustrated !

But after I discover that not because what I ate..its not a problem..
i change strategy!
hihihiihihihiih.... secret weapon for new me... new body.. new attitude mmm that attitude part a bit difficult hahaha...

Now.. let me read one chapter of that leadership dynamic for my exam...

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Short listed candidates

I was following up on my shorlisted candidates, and to my amaze all this young people really have one kind of attitude.

1st candidate - we gave her nickname of 'Tomboy' since she dress up like a boy not a girl. The 'Tomboy'gave me positive answer since she is over positive despite we painted her the tough job she is going to face, ah! I am the one feel worried on her behalf. Yu ! she is joining us on 1st Oct 2009.

2nd candidate - we gave her nickname as MD since her ambition to be MD of the company within 5 years. Very ambitious! But hey! I don't know what sort of MD she is going to since she can't even decide on taking up the offer and everything seems not so clear to her despite being told and briefed many times. I kind of not dislike her from the start since she have the potential to be one of those b@#$ in the office. My Boss like her! Whatever! she is not joining us... Thats my decision for sure!

3rd candidate - we called her 'snow white' since she is very very fair!
Basically she is alright but she also have potential to be the trouble maker to our office.
But still can be develop.
Concept and theory she got it right but she is too lengthy when question asked.
Still fine though!
When I offer her the answer was really make me piss off!
'I can't decide now! Could you call me next month?'
My reaction was what the f@#& !!!
Like that also can ar????
Wasting my freaking time girl!!!
She is a snow white after all!!!!

We then move on.. I am interviewing more candidates this Friday.
Only 2 left! So I consider a bit desprate to meet my KPI in term of HR.
However, I still can't hire craps and rubbish people in here.
Why?
Because problem will bounce back to me.
So, I need to really select the chosen one!!!

Lunch time seriously, I feel very exhausted! For the 1st time I slept in the office.
But woke up after 30 minutes and told myself its office you can't sleep start working!!

Evening was raining and look out the window , it was terribily jammed.
Manage to ask Mel for dinner at Tropicana City Mall.
We tried 'Eat N Run'.
The food was good! but I am very ambitious last night and even Mel was stunned when I ordered 1 Fish & rice and addedthe snack platter.
She were telling me 'Rina remmeber we still have the Shin lin floss wrappers'.
Yup! but i just feel like ordering... desire , I guess.
Verdict!
We don't even finish the platter.. such a waste!

Here goes my greedy dinner!

Saturday, while everybody was busy heading back to their family at hometown, I will be busy with my appointments!
Early morning - at least 8.00am service my car (maybe will take around 2 - 3 hours)
Then heading to Cheras Mahkota for appointment at 2.00 pm and another one at 3.00pm.
Maybe will end up around 5.00 - 5.30pm.
Around 6.30pm need to visit my accupuncture for my jaw.It will take around 1 hour there so expected 7.30pm out of there.
Maybe have dinner around 8.00pm.
Then settle down for around 6 hours and start my journey back to Taiping.
Sorry Mum & Dad! I don't mean it. Life have been very tough for me here.
I just working hard these few months because you don't leave enough for me.
So have to work harder for my own survivor.
Oh ya! not to forget yours too!

Monday, September 14, 2009

Enemy

I reached with donno what to eat, as usual.
I feel no appetite at all and everything seems not right at all.
As usual when got back in the house, I will on the TV and computer.
But tonight.... jeng jeng
I almost scream oh i did screamed and cried when I saw what near my balcony sliding door...
that ulat gonggok iewwwwwwwwwww wanna type the name make my hair feel eerriee...
How the hell did this creature climbed up here?
This one is one of my biggest fear...
I feel sick suddenly!
Yup! fever.. same like when I was 7 yrs old when this thing appear near me.

Damn! i just tried my best to use brooms and sweep up to the dust casing and boommm here u go to the toilet with 10 times flushed.
Go away!
Go away!
Dont disturb my miserable life.

Today especially feel not so good when my group members are freaking happening.
OK Cindyrina just suck up your efficiency since you are among the most 'tidak apa' group!

I thought I will only find this kind of attitude among the Malays..
But hey! all about individual behaviour not races.
All this people are among the worst and best thing they are not Malay and I am the only one.
Hah! how about that???
Proven! I am among the best... keep your good work cindyrina!
Lazy is not about race but about individual..

Suck up your emotion Cindyrina or you fall sick!!!

Sunday, September 13, 2009

Belitong or Balitong

Balitung & Water Melon Juice
Balitung Balitung


So? What for Saturday?
I am out of my house since morning.
Yup! as early as 9.30am.
Here goes my car servicing plan... gone.
Next week morning then.
I went to Cheras Mahkota waited for my potential downline.
Appointment at 10.30am but she reached around 11.30am.
mmmm... no comment :(
Anyway, I was busy registring my VIP Shoppers to system and as well as selecting my maintainance products.
Then do presentation to my potential and walah off to go for site recee.
I went to Melawati and Wangsa Maju.
I guess almost 10 years never been there.
That place under seriously developed like nobody business not to mentioned they even have new Wangsa Walk!
Fabulous!!!
Then around tried DUKE highway and heading to One U.
Thought of watching movie but end up do some window shopping.
Too many human inside the shopping mall.
Break my fast with juice work - Sping Clean - a mixture of Celery, Water Melon and Apple.
Verdict : for RM8++ too many ice and a lil bit of ingredients go back and blend yourself hahaha not worth it
Star : 2 star
Then eat Chang Kee Spricy Curry Puff 1 piece
Verdit : for RM1.60 per piece ,still freaking hot and this is my comment ' fabulous!!!'
Star : 5 star
Then heading towards Sri Hartamas for balitung yeah in Malay call Siput Sedut.
Not really like this last time because Malay normaly cook this in Masak Lemak Kuuning style so I feel a bit not so happening to try this.
Anyway feel a bit awful for suck that waht ever it is inside there.
I really started to like this Balitung when my friend make me tried this at Sri Hartamas during Valentines Day!!!!
The way they fried the Balitung with Triangle Beans and Dried Shrimp.... Heaven!!!!
Best thing is can see all that White People sucking the Balitung too..
Here goes Malaysia food likeable and others can't just resist.
Ordered Balitung, Cockles and Glam Lamb Burger... no rice baybeh and no rice
Verdict : The food for was fabulous!!!!
Star : 10 stars
I only reached home around almost 11pm.
Tiring but love the experience and see more thing.
Today I am going to De Palma to break my fast with x coursemate.
Yup! a bunch of Malay friend that I still have.
Heart a bit heavy here because I don't really like buffet spread (so rugi coz I don't eat much and I feel such a waste plus this is not ramadhan all about to waste on food)
Anyway, I just want to see Farah & Syam whom just came back from UK.
Long time never see both of them.
I don't know what to wear.
Baju Kurung (awkward coz I only wear this twice a year during 2 raya)
Maybe just settle with mini dress and jeans...
I need to wash & blow my hair later.
Need to look good though since I am freaking meaty nowaday.
I dont want to walk in that restaurant with my greasy spring hair and my meaty body hahaha yeah! thats the way to describe me.
OK! thats all my update for now.
I need to study my product knowledge well and prepare for next week.
My assignment?? I had sent to everybody my portion (its group assignment)
Since my group mates this time is freaking happening so no feedback.
I have to suck up my emotion... although my ego its damn geram with last minute job.

Friday, September 11, 2009

What for dinner?

Tonight seriously sad case.
Why?
Reached home around 8.30pm.
Seriously don't know what to eat.
I drank plain water on the way back home.
Don't know where to stop to buy my dinner.
I feel sick to eat mamak food again.
I settle with 2 pieces of Munchys Dark Chocolate Biscuits and one mug of hot green tea.
Feel hungry again but just feel like no appetite at all.

Tonight! crash study on products.
Tomorrow my plan change suppose to send car for servicing but end up with early business appointment at Cheras Mahkota.
Praying hard for Miri potential sign up under me.
At least when I go for interview they will notice on my expanding network and outstanding potential.
Gambatei Cindyrina!!!

God! please let me have this one... dead or alive!!!

Too busy these days..
Finish up my assignment then busy prepare for my exam coming Oct then busy with my interview....

Hardly can eat properly and breathe properly...
Tiring!!!

Thursday, September 10, 2009

May God Bless me

This morning went to office as usual although I am sick.
I have been vomitting since last night.
Food poisoning , i guess!
I just ate one spring roll and my favorite peanut butter waffles.
I don't which one make me sick.
For sure I will blacklist these two snacks for month!

I am still stubborn not to break my fast until about 2.00pm.
I am feeling like almost dead since I have many interviews came in.
I need to put up my positive and sweet face to all these candidates.
Actually, I feel like going MC but I just can't do it.
Why?
As usual I will put myself into all this cadidates shoes.
Some of them may even took leave just to come for interview.
So , I rather suffer than bring trouble to others... hehehe God Bless my kindhearted!!!
Not so easy when I am controlling myself from vomitting.
I guess today I have been running up and down from my room to toilet around more than 10 times.

Reached home cook myself a porridge.
One hopeless and useless porridge. I give myself no star to cook porridge.
I ate few spoon then the rest gone to the drainage.
My porridge sucks, tonight!!!
I am still sick and sick!!!!

Since my deadline for myself is tonight for my Toyota case assignment, so tonight still need to be strong!!
May God Bless me!!!!
Be strong ...Gambatei!!!!! Cindyrinaaaaaaa!!!!

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Is there any hope left for me?

Today.. is most challenging day!
Fasting can't drink, I don't bother too much about cannot eat at all.
But can't drink?
Today my 5th recruitment day.
I have been seeing almost 4 candidates and talk and talk.
I find a lil bit difficult can't drink even a drop of water but yet need to talk a lot.
Most candidates are 2/10... where are all the good one???

Then here goes one bad news coming and disturb my emotion.
Ah! here goes my hope...
I feel very very down right after.
Its my only hope!
Why God just don't want to give me the chance?
Am I that bad??
I feel giving up... but being me by nature, I will fight to the end although I will hurt.
I will continue feeling down tonight and hope can be positive back again like I always did.
Cindyrina way of living her life!!! Gambatei!!!! Gambatei, Cindyrina!!!

I went to Tropicana City Mall to buy my food.
Nothing much I can eat there..
End up buying waffles and spring roll for my break!
Nice??? mmmm 2 star out of 10 hahahah since I am freaking hungry so just swallow whatever.

I manage to fininsh my business proposal.

Tonight starting my Toyota case for IB assignment.

See how far I can go tonight!

May God give me strength to live my life in this world and hope can do some savings for next world (almost neglected that part).

If I were a boy

Who to blame if I am not enough time to do my assignment!
Nobody! just myself...
Although, I realise this but yet I still living in my own world in 'Boy Before Flower' world.
I just want to be closed to the character that I hate most.
Gu Jun Pyo played by Lee Min Ho.
The character just give me the goose bump.
The character is like love and hate collide.
How I wish I just in my dream and never wake up.
If I were to be one of the character, I want to be Gu Jun Pyo character.
Yes! not to be one of the love interest but I want to be him!
Ah! how i wish my life like him.
Arrogant! yet so fragile and soft too....
Like Beyonce latest song ..
If I were a boy...
Yes! if I were I boy I want to be the bad boy!
I want to be the rebellious boy..
I want to be somebody who dare to do anything freely...
Not about courting a girl or what... just want to be somebody that other will admire because of my daring and courage..mmmm ... if I were a boy!!!
But I am just a girl..
How could I make ppl understand that I am just a girl..
Plain girl next door who got no talent , beauty which is far far away yet not so smart... and still live in my own world... that nobody can understand...

Oh yes! my assignment due on this Friday.
Then got test on Saturday!
Did I star anything???
Hell no!!!
Why?
I just don't feel like it!
Tomorrow! is a no no to start it!
Maybe Thursday.
I keep delay the most important just to enjoy my dream life...
Ah! what the heck!!!!
Thats the only world I love the most!
I feel happy.... yup! although I will suffer later...

Jia Yor Cindyrina... do whatever you like as long as you are happy...
Live life to the fullest!!!!

Althought ppl says my life is abnormal but ... what the heck!!!!
They don't feed me ... I fend for myself through my hardwork...

As long I am happy...

Monday, September 7, 2009

Great Weekend

I finished my 1st assignment last Saturday and submitted on Sunday morning.
Now I have one more to go.
Hope to finish off by this Friday.
I am still in honey moon period hahaha yup! got carried away since finished one assignment.

My purse torn..so does my handbag :(
Yesterday visited Sg Wang to get one purse.
LV hahaha dont really want to get LV but somehow bought it and only realise its LV.
RM30 worth of LV what the heck! hihihih fake LV!!!
Can't get bag that i wanted ,so no handbag settle with old old one from my box.

Thought of going to Food Republic @ Pavillion for my favourite Ipoh Curry Laksa.
Somehow too full of people and got no place to sit at all.
I remembered my friend Brandom open one 'Little Ben' @ Pavillion .
Walk towards 'old town' and found my friend's restaurant there.
mmm love the set up.
Very nice!
I settle with Nasi Dagang and Sailor Mee and also lemon grass tea.
Splendid!
The food was marvellous!

Right now! I just got carried away and entertained myself with Hana Yori Dango and on and off sneak out to watch my Boy before Flower.
How i wish my life like theirs!!! in the movie...

Tommorrow!!!!!!
Ah! back to reality...
Recruitment day 4???
ah! whole week meeting all those candidates...
Jia Yor Jia Yor Cindyrina!!!!!! Gambatei!!!!

My report not done yet!!!!!!!

Ah! how i wish can just snap my finger and everything there for me!!!!
Wake up!

Next week! meeting up another potential!!!
haha not prince charming but business purpose... my future!!!!!
Prince Charming??? still waiting... lady like me nobody interested!!!!
Too clumsy! and not that smart!!!

Gambatei, Cindyrina!!!!!
Live life too the fullest before reach 40 years.... 5 more years to go..
This 12th October is d Day I turn 35 years!!!!! ah!! older older... sick thinking about this... how time fly...and never realise...

Friday, September 4, 2009

Everyday break my fast alone...
No appetite at all but if many people also make me headache.
Sometimes don't feel like eating at all.
When alone complain lonely but if married or have family worst... why?
Imagine go back home see the same old face.
again and again and again... boorrriiinggg!!!
vomit blood!

Sometimes I also don't know what I want.
Aish!!! not sometimes but everytime hahahah ya one lost woman!!!

I am very tired today...
Tonight! is the night hahah tonight is the night to continue my LD assignment.
Tomorrow submit then start to study product knowledge.
Next week test jia yor jia yor

Long weekend many many thing to do...

Thursday, September 3, 2009

Smart Girl

Although my mood swing are very bad today..
I still manage to put up my usual fake smile... drama!

Anyway, today recruitment day 3.
I have been talking and talking and talking bla bla bla selling the company and selling my 'BOSS' how good he is and bla bla bla ... ah! if I have choice, I will tell 'em the truth!

Thank God ! I am on menstrual so still can drink after talking so much!
Plus today everybody came and looking for me.
Everybody called in looking for me too..
I wish I could duplicate myself.
But I can't :(
Next week will be worst!
Got to Puasa and talk and talk the whole week frm 9.00am to 5pm.
Damn!!!!
I am seriously selling very hard here...

Today I bought 3 Sweet Dorothy Perkins top straight from London... hahahahahah (big laugh)
My very very 1st item from overseas and its London (yeah! what big thing about getting thing from London??? Nothing just feel happy hahahaha)
I don't mean to keep it for myself
My very 1st oversea item is a Teddy Bear from Harrods given by my ex Boss.
She now married to one of Negeri Sembilan Princess and convert to muslim (strategic marriage, I can say hahaha what a smart guy)

Smart girl always see opportunity.
I manage to sell one of the top thru ebay and get back my money use to buy 3 tops.
smart eh!!!!
imagine if I manage to sell back all 3????
ah! I am smart!!! make money some more hahahaha happy nyeeeeee....

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

I wish U wish

This morning, almost late than usual due to overslept...
Not because I overworked myself but overdreamt lol..
Yup! suppose to do my assignment but end up watching Lee Min Hoo.

I wish I live in that world!
I know its all fantasy but don't you think its nice to make it reality..mmmm wonderful life!
I don't wish myself as Jan Di the girl character.
Yeah! character a lil bit the same clumsy, silly and temper!
But I don't really have that much courage like her...

Today line up 3 candidates to come in for interview from different post.
2 for accounts position and 1 for trainee.
End up 1 call said grandma pass away.
1 turn up and the other one said too busy to come today.
What the heck???
I wish this people realise how disappointed I am today!

The accounts fella... how to say ya... reason leaving current company because he is married and now have kids and need more money!
When asked what have you done to upgrade yourself in order to earn more money?
The answer is nothing!
Simple answer I can offer him, he will get nothing too.... fair???
I think this is fair.
People like me over the years trying my best to upgrade myself from time to time..
Yeap! i changed number of jobs here and there because I want more money too..
Everytime I will equiped myself with knowledge not just simply jump and demand.

I ensure anybody whom hire me before will agree with my statement... it is worth it to pay me.. and maybe underpaid because most of the time I will do more that what they expected.
Not to mentioned the current one... they save a lot in term of payroll.
4 people job handle by one person what else you can wish for if you have SUPERWOMAN in D OFFICE :)

I wish I can be SUPERWOMAN! put up that brave face and save the world... (need to re design the outfit though... too old fashion)
I wish I can be Britney Spears ... dancing and miming on the stage with jz a bikini suit no matter what people said about my flabby , I jz dance and miming happily...shake it shake it baby... ooppss I did it again and again hahaha
I wish I am Goo Jun Pyo - F4 beloved girl. He love me not I love him hahaha more power if like that..
I wish I am Queen Rania , beautiful , rich and have big heart too but of course I can choose which husband I want..
I wish I am Beyonce talented woman, beautiful, sexy and rich and confident ... I dont want that Jay Z guy maybe change to someone better..
I wish I can finish every assignments come and pass the exam by jz blinking my eyes like ' I dreamt of Genie' ... then I can jz watch my ugly betty, my boy before flower and my CSI and more and more and more...
how I wish how i wish.... this list will on and on....

let me go to sleep and continue this all...

Tomorrow my assignment day... so let me go chill out under my beloved red blanket...

How I crazy about Johnny Depp when he was young at 21 jump street last time and this is how I crazy i am about my lee min ho now.....
Can't believe at this age I still can have this crush to this extreme extend..... i must be one mad woman... who live alone too long and lonely hahahaha seriously truly, deeply and madly in love...

Recruitment day 3 tomorrow...I feel tired ledi.
But hey... i feel motivated ledi coz I did shopping therapy bought myself 3 dorothy perkins tunics and hoodies... tomorrow delivery... power of online.
not so much of the damage coz manage to get it cheap..
baju raya maybe??
Mum kill me if I wear that during raya ...
whatever!!
Dig out my last year baju kurung...
only wear it once a year! hihi

My tummy still bloated due to eat not at right time...

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

If I have the courage like Britney

Britney Spears is not really my idol but I just admire her courage.
She be the attention to media since she was at tender age. Whatever she does become a talk to media.
No matter what is her attention good or bad always become a talk to people around the world. How she handle all the talk about her?
I believe , take her a lot of courage to face such situation.
Your wedding become to attention. You got pregnant being publicise widely. Not to mention about the break up part!
Now on getting more love life again...she just can't stop from all those people talk about her and make money out of the story.
I believe she miss her normal life but deep in heart she always remember she need to sacrifice to gain something. She gain her popularity and money but lost her freedom in life.
Me? I currently live my life like an ostrich sticking down her head into the ground. I am ashame of myself of not being confident and capable. I don't know when I can put my head up again....
I just feel so negative and just wnat to hide somewhere far far away... Why?
Because I am currently feel lost in my own world!
I can see the light but cant see the tunnel at all...
I have 2 more assignments to go...
I also have one more important thing to do...

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